The Jock & The Outcast

Let me start off by saying Mr. Interesting is officially out of the picture. As I mentioned in my last post he said he wanted to start communicating through email. I agreed and sent him one. He never responded. That was a week ago. This time I didn't get upset, I just let it go and kept on moving. I can't lie though, I started feeling sorry for myself. Not because of some loser guy who chose not to email me but I began to wonder about my worth as a partner. Would anybody ever want me as a girlfriend? Would any guy ever be crazy about me? During the time I was getting ignored, my coworker was being showered with flowers, hand delivered stuffed mushrooms and cheese cake, dinner at the best restaurant in town. It was significant because:

1. She sits 2 feet away from me and hence we are always up in each other's kool-aid
2. For the few months I have known her, we have grown close and I was there when she was going through an awful, awful break up (ironically, this is the same guy that is now begging her to take him back, which she ended up doing)

Many guys in the office are attracted to her and it is easy to see why. She is a cute, petite little thing. She is such a genuinely nice person and she is just one of those people that everyone wants to be around. I can't even hate, if I were a guy I'd probably want her to. But it got me thinking about myself and my potential as a romantic partner. Do I even have any?

I think God realised I needed my ego stroked, either that or he was tired of me being so insecure so he sent me a match on eharmony. I will call this guy Cutie (I don't think I need to elaborate on why). When Cutie was initially matched with me I immediately wanted to "open communication" with him but decided against it because I didn't think I would have much of a chance (yep my self esteem had taken a hit after Mr. Interesting). So I left it alone and kept on moving. I signed in about 2 days later, only to realise Cutie had sent me some questions. Intrigued, I responded and sent him back some as well. Within a few hours we went through the entire guided communication and Cutie sent me an eharmony email. From that moment we kept emailing each other back and forth and I found myself being more and more taken with him. And he in turn seemed taken with me. Unlike Mr. Interesting, I never wondered if Cutie would email me back or if he was going to keep me waiting, there were no games involved. But don't start breaking out the champagne yet because of course it's complicated:

- Cutie lives in a different time zone than me, I'm 4 hours ahead of him to be exact. Next year, we will be living in the same country (I'm moving there for school *fingers crossed*) but we will still be in different time zones.
- Cutie is not looking for anything serious, he just got out of a very serious relationship a couple of months ago. I on the other hand have been single for almost 24 years.
- There are girls hounding Cutie down left, right & center. I swear he is probably 1 out of the 5 good looking guys on eharmony. And he is such a genuinely nice guy you'd think he had a face only a mother could love.
- Cutie & I are kinnda like the jock and the drama geek of high school

Despite these complications, Cutie and I have started talking to each other through msn and hopefully we will progress from there. I don't think anything can really happen between us given the distance and other factors. But I think the reason I met him when I did was to remind myself that I am awesome, yes someone can be interested in me and yes there are some decent guys left in this world. And hey, who doesn't like to get their ego stroked from time to time?