It has been two days and I already regret forking up my hard earned money for online dating. Remember that guy I mentioned in my last post? Mr.Interesting? Well he hasn't responded to my message and I know he read it. It is inevitable that rejection will take place on these sites but that doesn't make it any easier when it happens. It also doesn't help that I haven't seen any other guys that I am remotely interested in. I know it is early still but I'm not the most patient person out there.
The other thing that makes me kinnda nervous is that my profile may not be as great as I previously thought. I was kind of lazy and just used the same tagline and about me that I had a year ago on another site. I used it over because I did garner alot of attention before. But now all I'm getting is *crickets*, I'm constantly on the site checking to make sure that I am indeed connected to the internet and everything is working as it should. Of course there is no technical difficulties, there is just no connection with anyone. I don't get it, on the other site I literally was overwhelmed with messages, comments, flirts or whatever. Now I'm lucky if I get a generic alert from the site. Maybe its a different demographic, so I should tailor my profile differently, like I would a resume? I dunno. At this point I just feel dejected.
To top things off one of my girlfriends who lives in my former city skyped me today. We covered the basics: played catch up with each other's lives, talked about jobs, current projects we were working on and of course we got to guys.
Her: (All excited) "So are there any guys"
Me: (Tired of repeating this same dialogue) "Nope, no new guys"
Her: (Surprisingly, surprised) "Really, there is no one your interested in at all?"
Me: "Nope"
I often wonder why she even bothers to ask me when she constantly gets the same response. Many of my friends have given up on asking me this question altogether and have accepted me as the token single friend. I guess I have sort of accepted it too. I'm going to be 24 in a month and I'm not as upset as I thought I would have been about still being single. It will also be 2 years since I started writing this blog and while many things have changed, alot has remained the same.
But beneath all my "woe is me" pessimism, there is a spark of light, there always has been. It may be small, but there is that little glimmer of hope that I will have a real, wonderful, fulfilling relationship someday. I mean seriously, how can somebody not be in love with the awesomeness that is me??
For now I'm going to quit the compulsive checking of the dating sites and just live my life. I heard this saying the other day and I intend to make it a part of me: "Live in the present. Forget the dead past and the unborn future." When you think about it, it does make alot of sense.
4 comments:
I remember signing up for a site for a second or third time, and literally within hours I was pissed at myself and wanted my heard earned dollars back.
I said I'd never do it again...but I've learned to never say never :) Hang in there, crossing my fingers for you!
well mr. interesting may not have responded (for whatever reason it might be) but you never know who might drop into the online dating site during your subscription. you're being brave and putting yourself out there (and your money down to boot). you're also still young enough for your friends (or yourself) to write you off as the token single friend. afterall there are heaps of others who were single for much longer so take heart :)
I get the same conversation with one friend I have. Maybe she's hopeful that eventually you'll meet someone (that's what I tell myself anyway) ^_^
thanks for the support guys! I'm gonna hang in there and see what comes of this thing.
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